More on Doug

Doug's funeral will be this Tuesday in Yuma, AZ. I feel terrible that I can't be there. We just can't afford the plane ticket, plus I've been really sick lately and I don't think I could make the trip anyway. That still doesn't make it feel any better. I wish I could be there with John to hold his hand. It's so hard to watch the people you love suffer so much.

On Friday, I was struggling so much with my feelings of sadness. I was caught off guard by how much this hurt. After all, Doug was John's brother. But it doesn't feel that way. He was my family too. I miss him. Holidays and family get-togethers will never be the same. I know the gospel is true and that families are forever, but I was still struggling with the "Why?" of it all. I felt like I offended my Heavenly Father because of the thoughts I was having. I talked to my brother (who I'm so blessed to have) and he told me that it isn't wrong to feel sad. That was a relief, because I don't think I've been sadder in my life. The swiftness and the finality of this all just seemed too much to bear.

As I was thinking on these things, a line from a Primary song the kids are singing this year popped in my head: " . . . and families can be sealed for eternity." I just sobbed when those words came into my head. I can't explain it. It just hurt very much, and I wasn't sure I could even come to church. Our Primary is rehearsing for the program, and the theme this year is "My Eternal Family." Every time I thought about the songs I'd have to lead, I would just break down. Finally, I just prayed that I would have the strength to go to Primary and get through it without breaking down. I felt that I'd be able to do it. Well, even though I didn't feel good this morning (more tummy issues), I got up and went to church. We went through the program and I didn't break down once. In fact, the songs strengthened me. I felt very close to Heavenly Father and to all of my family. I felt that everyone would be taken care of and that eternity isn't as far away as I thought. I'm so grateful to have the gospel and the knowledge that we can be forever families. I've felt Heavenly Father's love so strongly in the past few days. I feel our families will be blessed through this tragedy.

Here is Doug's obituary . . . it's perfect. It says more than I could ever say about him. Doug was so full of life.

Here's a video that Laura found of Doug on his work's website. I really liked seeing this, because it shows his smile and the twinkle in his eyes the way a picture never could.

Here's a link to a fund that was organized in Doug's honor by the bike club he founded.

An article about Doug and bike safety.

Please keep everyone in your prayers, especially on Tuesday, the day of the funeral. I know it will be hard on everyone, so if you can, pray.

Doug Flynn

John's brother Doug was killed in an accident this morning. Words cannot describe our sorrow, our disbelief. I'm so grateful we have the gospel in our lives and that we know families are forever. My thoughts, my prayers go to all our family that is suffering his loss now. Please keep them in your prayers as well.

Here is an article about Doug and the accident. My heart goes to his wife Mary, and his three children at this time.

Birthday Rundown

My birthday was the 12th. Friday night John and I went out. Usually, we go see a movie (like we did in this picture! "Star Trek" at the Imax was awesome!), but there was literally nothing out. So, we went to Target to get Charlie's birthday presents . . . I know, we're becoming such boring parents! But I've got to admit it's always fun to get stuff for Charlie. The next day I went shopping with Mari, which is always great. I spent half of my money, so I've still got plenty left over for later. Unfortunately, I had been having a lot of bad pain and my medecine wasn't helping. I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to have fun on my b-day, so I went out Friday and Saturday morning anyway. By the time I got home Saturday afternoon, I was miserable. I went upstairs to find a new pair of slippers and some bath salts on the bed. John felt guilty that my present (other than shopping money . . . a pair of black and white spectator pumps!) hadn't come in time and so he got me those things to make up for it. BEST. HUSBAND. EVER. That's EXACTLY what I needed. Sigh, what a guy!

Charlie's b-day was the 18th. We took him down to John's parents' house. That day I whipped together some last minute cupcakes, attempting to make them look "Cars" themed (Charlie's favorite).

John's parents got pizza. Charlie pretty much only wanted to play with all of Grandma's cars (she has HUNDREDS). We forced him to open presents . . . I wound up opening most of his presents. Finally, around 8 o'clock, Charlie decided to eat pizza and he went to town--he can't have dairy, but we figured a little cheese wouldn't hurt. Maybe I'm a mean mom, but I didn't give him a cupcake. He has a lot of stomach problems, and I thought pizza was enough for one night . . . and it was. He was dog sick the next day and he's still having problems today! Needless to say, we'll be talking about tummy issues at his checkup. Poor guy.

Then, Sunday night, we had a little dinner for Charlie. Of course, my mom had to get "Cars" everything, plates, a banner and a racetrack cake. She originally was going to make a Lightning McQueen cake, but she was afraid he'd cry if we cut him up. So yeah, this cake is my mom's idea of a "cop-out." Can you believe this cake? (Er, that would be my niece Caroline's hand on the cake!)

I told Charlie ahead of time to not put his fingers in the cake. I know a lot of people allow their 2 year olds to just dig in, but I find that seriously disgusting and unsanitary. But, here we go, Charlie stabbing his spoon (at least it wasn't his finger!) in the cake, as if to mark his territory. I love the look he's giving his Uncle Paul. That look says, "Yeah, I just stabbed my cake. Whatcha' gonna do about it?"

AND, Charlie got to keep the cars afterwards . . . all around, a great idea. So, here is the Lightning McQueen haul he got . . . . I've sold my soul to Pixar! Well, most of this stuff came from grandparents. Can you tell he loves it? (And, make note, that his pjs are Lightning McQueen, too!)

All together, he pretty much got a new fall/winter wardrobe (tons of great Carters' clothes--and some ADORABLE pjs), dozens of cars and books and much more. Whew! I'm glad he's not QUITE old enough to understand how spoiled he is.

Tomorrow I've got a CT scan to see why I'm having such bad pain. I probably won't know the results until next week, but if you can remember me in your prayers, I'd appreciate it! I'm hoping for the best, which would be, they find a problem they can fix. Either way, it's a step in the right direction, no matter what results show (or don't show). Thanks!

Happy Birthday, Charlie!

How things have changed in the past year! I can remember feeling such a relief when Charlie turned one. His first year was a very painful and difficult for me, physically and emotionally. It was survival, pure and simple. As soon as he turned one, however, everything changed.

This year, Charlie has grown in so many ways. Even though raising a toddler (in my parents’ house, mind you) is not easy, I feel so much more comfortable. I’m enjoying this ride now, not just enduring it. He has had such a bright, happy personality ever since he was little. He’s always looking for an audience to show off his newest dance move, a new song or sometimes, he just wants someone to tease.

While he can be a real rascal sometimes, he also is extremely kind for such a small guy. He loves giving hugs and kisses. He has always been what my mom calls “huggy.” When he’s tired, he’ll crawl in my lap and give me the hugest hug he can with his skinny little arms. He’ll just bury his head in my shoulder and say, “Mmmmmaaawwwmmmm,“ over and over again. I love it! (and yes, he calls me “Mom.“ Everything is “No, Mom.“ “Yeah, Mom.“) His baby blessing said that he would have a kind heart. One day in church, a woman watched Charlie playing with another kid in the foyer. She told me, “He has a kind heart, just like his dad.” I could have burst into tears right there, because it is so true. I hope that he can grow up to be a truly kind and sincere man just like his dad. There aren’t many of those around!

For the first time, I feel a little sad he’s getting older. He’s at such a cute (albeit, destructive!) age and I would just like to put him on pause. On his birthday, I just want to go over two (since he’s two) of the many reasons why I love Charlie so much.

1. His love of music. Charlie can never get enough of singing and dancing. He‘ll spin in circles and sing his own composition that goes like this: “Singin’ and DANCIN’! Dancin’ and SINGIN’!” This video of him jamming still makes me laugh so hard I cry . . . I think he was just a little over a year old in this video. The kid has SOUL! (I’ve had several people ask me . . . Yes, we added the David Bowie song on top of this . . . He was actually dancing to “American Boy” by Estelle and Kanye West) Now his dancing consists of spasmodic toddler jumps and rolling his head like he’s possessed. I have faith he’ll get that soul back in his dancing!

Lately, he’s been singing nonstop . . . What’s so cute about it is that he sings on key. One day, I was singing the “Indoors” song from Spongebob. Out of nowhere, Charlie chimes in and sings the last “Ee-in-DOORS!” pitch perfect. John and I about died laughing. Another time, we were in the car and “Pokerface” came on. A few hours later, we were home and Charlie was playing with his cars. I walk by and no joke, I hear him singing, “Puh-puh-puh-face, puh-puh-puh-puh-puh face!” to himself.

2. I’m loving how much he’s talking now. He’s a complete magpie. Forgive me for this random analogy, but . . . I’ve been reading a lot of Harry Potter lately. Anyway, I always thought it was lame how Harry could understand Parseltongue (that is, snake language), but not realize he was listening to hissing rather than English. It’s a plot device, I know, but it still bugged me. Well, in a way, I think Charlie speaks Parseltongue . . . I know what he’s saying (or trying to say) most of the time, but he’s pretty unintelligible to everyone else a lot of the time.

Even though he’s only been as far as Atlanta, he sounds like a man of the world. Example? He has Scottish, French, British and Australian accents. “Yes” is “yesshhh” (he’s a mini Sean Connery), “spider” is “Spy-DEH”, “Harry Potter” sounds like “Arry Pot-TAH” and “No way!” is “No woy!” (Okay, in all fairness, he has evolved . . . He says “No way” the American way, now.)

Last week he said his first prayer. John told Charlie to start with, “Dear Heavenly Father.” Charlie did and then immediately launched into a good two minute diatribe about “Dad” and “John.” He then ended, “Amen!” It was so cute.

Your such a big boy, Charlie! I love you so much and hope today is a great day for you!

The Flynn Shuffle

So Labor Day Weekend signaled the start of football season. As usual, I was dreading it. It seems like football swallows everything in its path . . . at least, that is, if you're a GA Bulldogs fan . . . or you're married to one.

This year, I decided to be more supportive and get into the spirit of things. This is me being supportive--my first Bulldogs tee ever! (Er, the stains on my shoulder are from Charlie spitting his medecine on me.) Red is so not my color.

For the first game, Scott and Katie invited us down to watch. It turned out to be really nice for me, because Katie and I just got to hang out and talk. It always feels so refreshing to have someone to talk to that doesn't want to only talk about "Cars" or "Imagination Movers" (sorry, Charlie).

And although the Dawgs lost (sorry to rub salt in the wound, guys), it's always entertaining to watch the boys react. When John and his brothers are together, they begin to sound and act freakishly alike. For example, when frustrated with a bad play, they all would perform what I like to call the Flynn Shuffle. Here's how it goes:

Hop in your seat.

JUMP UP!

Ease back down.

Take off your hat!

Run your hands through your hair.

Put on your hat and growl.

And that's the Flynn Shuffle!

Charlie had a great time playing with the girls. I was so glad we finally got to get a picture of Ryan and Charlie in their matching shirts. Thanks again for having us down, guys!

Letdown

I found out last week that I didn't make it into the semifinal round of the Nicholl Fellowship competition. They narrowed everyone down by half and I didn't make the cut.

This was a huge blow to me. Every time I prayed about the contest, I felt really good. I felt like something would come of entering it. Then, my imagination got away with me. Does anyone else do that? I realized that I have a very bad habit of doing that. I'll pray for something, feel good about it and then make a huge leap into assuming what I wish will happen EXACTLY that way. I assumed that because I felt so good about the contest, that I would breeze through the next round only to either win the whole thing or sell my screenplay as a result of being a finalist. When I saw the rejection email, my first thought was, "This is going to really hurt when this sinks in."

I was devastated. It honestly took me a few days for reality to set in. Once it did, it promptly ripped my dreams into ragged shreds. To finish my screenplay and enter this competition were my main goals for over a year. To find out it was over was not only depressing but frightening. What was I supposed to do now?

After a blessing and good talk with John (you're getting really good at those by the way, my man!), I was able to take a different perspective. If I had known a year ago (as I wrote my screenplay) that this screenplay would not only get me in the top 5% of this contest but my name would also be on a list put out by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, I think I would have peed my pants (and lost control of all other bodily functions, too). I did make the first round, so my name and contact information will be on "The List", meaning I could be contacted by any number of agents, producers or development companies. Who knows, something could still come of that. I'm not a failure in any sense of the word, no matter how much that nasty little voice in my head tries to convince me.

After getting that change of attitude, I realized that I wanted to enter the contest again next year. You can enter up to 3 scripts, and if I can get my butt into gear, I'll have a third one to submit by next year's deadline. There have been several people who submitted the same screenplay years in a row, only to win after the fourth or fifth year. Getting on "The List" is a huge deal and how can a girl living in Signal Mountain, TN do any better? It's worth a shot. Or two, or three, or a dozen. Whatever it takes, right?

Thanks for all of your support and kind words!

Road Show Video

The video of Signal Mountain's Road Show skit is now on YouTube!

Here's a synopsis of the skit . . . despite the Stake's, er, state of the art sound and light equipment, it's not super easy to follow what's going on. So here goes . . . Some villagers yell and chuck rocks at some unseen monsters. They don't want them ruining their dance festival. The curtain opens to reveal the set of "Danceylvania 2009." A couple of dance groups perform, only to have Frankenstein and his minions interrupt. The host calls for "Security!", which happens to be an angry mob wielding sticks. They intimidate the monsters until they are cowered on the ground. The host asks, "What are you going to do now?" The monsters perform to "Thriller." All the village comes on stage to applaud the monsters' dance. The host apologizes for misjudging the monsters. The town joins together in a final dance.

CAST:

Villagers: Alex Ward, Katherine Ward, Kimberly Youngblood

The Host: Zac Mendenhall

The Clodhoppers: Katherine Ward, Chloe Caughman, Katelyn Youngblood, Kimberly Youngblood

Polyester Power: Kyler Meredith, Miles Dexter, Toran Hamilton, Lucas Aedo, Tanner Lockhart, Hannah Wolfe, Morgan Iverson, Sophie Caughman, Anna Ward, Kierstyn Meredith, Skylar Lockhart

Frankenstein: Paul Iverson

Igor: Christiam Aedo

Bride of Frankenstein (er, Sister-in-Law of Frankenstein): Me

Angry Mob: Adam Wolfe, Luke Wolfe, Blake Ledford, Quinn Dexter, Alex Ward, Jared Ward, Alan Wynn

Oh, and Jared and Alex are they guys that flip at the end.

Enjoy!